Presence

On seeking to be present in all that is happening and is to come.

In 2024, “balance” was the word that I tried to embody.

Yes, I had a word for 2024.

In some ways I was able to nurture that and invite a sense of equilibrium in aspects of my life where it had previously lacked. Which inevitably means in some ways I wasn’t, particularly with the demands of a busy schedule that included a hefty amount of international travel. I’ve found it helpful to reflect on this considering the word that I’ve stumbled upon to consider and embrace in 2025: “presence”.

I think I’d be demonstrating a lot of grace to myself, or entering a delusional state, if I tried to suggest that last year was one in which I was fully present in everything I was doing. Whilst not wanting to enforce dogmatic rules to govern my behaviour (any more than my natural tendencies lean this way), having a guiding principle like “presence” to help encourage a different kind of behaviour when engaging in tasks, being with family and friends, or simply trying to find rest, seems like it could be of benefit.

2024 was the year of the Dragon, and it was predicted to be a particularly auspicious year for those, like me, who were born under that zodiac. Perhaps it was, it certainly felt like a year of opportunity and indeed preparation for what might be coming next. It presented me with more than my fair share of wonderful and challenging opportunities. I was able to see parts of the world that I’d not yet visited, such as South Africa, and connected with friends old and new across Europe and the US, many of whom I’d only ever met with online through work engagements. I intentionally carved out time to spend with my family, both in the UK and abroad, knowing that I had to be deliberate in this, being based in Albania and being on the road so often; I delighted in those opportunities – particularly watching my niece grow and become her own unique, Divinely-beautiful person.

There was some shedding too, of layers, commitments to individuals and behaviours, and of thought processes, all of which likely only scratches the surface. As well as some hard moments, the fallout from bereavement, health diagnoses in the family, and the complexities of working with bruised and broken people (aren’t we all?).

It also offered an occasion of profound joy and one that was somewhat surprising: almost fifteen years after my formal training, I was ordained as a Baptist Minister by First Baptist Church Halifax (Nova Scotia), with accredited recognition by the Canadian Association of Baptist Freedoms. I’ve reflected on this journey here, if you’d like to read a little more about that:

This step forward has also opened another door, that even two years ago would have felt unrealistic and perhaps I could say, undesirable. So, here’s the news: as of the 1^st April 2025, Steven and I will be relocating to Halifax, Nova Scotia for five months. I’ve accepted the call to serve as Interim Minister of First Baptist Church Halifax, whilst their Senior Minister is on sabbatical and leave. I’ll be continuing with my work as CEO of OneBodyOneFaith, which has always been part-time but now I will need to be diligent in ensuring it is – a perfect opportunity to embrace a little more balance, perhaps?

This is daunting in many ways. Whilst I lived for a few months in North America when I was nineteen, generally I’ve lived in a time zone no more than +1 to those back in the UK and that’s only been three hours away by flight over the last few years, so I don’t feel as disconnected as I might have done if I were further afield. It also means that I will be leaving Albania, the wonderful conundrum that I call home and feel a deep connection too. I don’t know if we’ll be able to return for longer-term periods, with complicated and corrupt bureaucratic systems throwing up roadblocks. I don’t feel as though I’ve entirely processed how I feel about this end, even if there is a return yet unseen in the future. It’s also been a long time since I’ve been able to connect consistently with a community of shared-faith and I’ve not worked in a church context since I was twenty-one (needless to say: I am a rather different being these days), and there remains some uncertainty about how Steven will experience being the spouse of “the Minister”.

All this, it seems to me, could be a suitable field to tend to the practice of presence. I am being presented with an opportunity to not only explore an area that I had long consigned to the pile of “not for me”, but to do so in a context in which I will need to ask and reflect upon these questions and likely a few more too. Whilst I’ll likely still be travelling, it seems that I will be more physically present for these months too, as the commitments of tending to a community in a fixed location need someone to be there “in the flesh”.

It's a time of shift and change once again, but one I feel optimistic and excited about. Please offer up prayers, good wishes, positive vibes to the universe for the move and transition, and for all those that once again need to deal with us upping sticks – whether they be family, friends, or colleagues. And stay tuned for updates as and when I practice presence enough to sit down and write…